Miscarriage and Ectopic Pregnancy – A Chef, A Wife and a Child

A chef a wife and a child - miscarriage and ectopic pregnancyHave you ever noticed that many people have gone through the same struggles as you have, but you never knew it until you started to talk about it?  This happens to me all the time.

I had no idea how many women had miscarriages until I had one.

After the initial excitement of finding out that my chef/husband and I were going to have our first child, my thoughts and fears headed straight toward miscarriage.

I know now that many women have miscarriages, but my Mom had 14.  Yes you read that right. 14.  I am an only child and she was on bed rest the majority of her pregnancy with me.  I am like my Mom in many ways, but would this be one way I was like her as well?  I of course had no way of knowing.  So as we started to pray for our unborn child, we prayed that if it was God’s will, I would carry him/her full term. (more…)

Putting the Long Hours of a Chef in Perspective

My cousin was 5 years old when we got married 18 years ago.  She was an adorable flower girl in our wedding.  Most of our lives we have lived a few states away from each other, but when we moved up to the Seattle area, I got to know her a little bit better.  She no longer lives nearby, but I think and pray for her often.

It’s usually on the days when I’m really lonely and struggling with the long hours of a chef that I think of her and pray for her.  Her husband is not a chef (although he cooks very well), but is deployed in the Army.  So while I sit at home, lonely and depressed about my husband who is working long hours an hour away from our house, I am reminded of her and many others, who have husbands on the other side of the world who will not be home for months. (more…)

Carrying the Burdens of a Stressful Job

We all know that chefs have a very stressful job.  Many times, the to-do list is far longer than anything that could actually be accomplished in a 24 hour day or the 168 hours in a week, even if he worked non-stop.

After being married for 18 ½ years, I can see this burden on my husband without him saying a word. I can see it toward the end of his day off as he starts thinking about all he needs to do the next day.  I can hear it in his voice when I call him at 5:45 am as he’s already on his way into work.  I have even seen the to-do list in Outlook.  It’s not pretty.

As I sit here in the quiet house before the girls get up, it’s hard not to worry about him and wonder how he’s doing and how he’s going to get everything done.

I know he’ll be fine.  Somehow he’ll find a way to get everything done and it will be done well.  But it’s not going to be easy.  It never is. (more…)

Having too Much Time to Think

Too much time?  Did she really just say that?  I know that’s what you are thinking.

But when you are married to a chef, and are by yourself (or alone with your kids) a lot, especially at night, you have a lot of time to think.  Sometimes too much!  (Actually, I’m guessing that this is the case for many women, whether they are married to a chef or not.)

Having all this time to think is tough . . .  Time to think about finances, am I doing what I should as a Mom and wife, what am I doing wrong as a Mom and wife, I wish I didn’t care about my house being clean, I wish my husband was able to be home more, why did God choose to take my Mom home to be with Him as such a young age, why am I so scared to share what I believe with others, why are my kids so messy – I must be doing something wrong . . . oh my goodness . . . steam of consciousness . . . this is my mind all day long!! (more…)

Seeing your Chef/Husband in Pain

We all know chefs work long hours and come home exhausted.  There have been many nights when I’ve been woken up by something and been surprised that Tom was not home yet.  I usually call him to make sure he’s OK and then go back to sleep.  There have been a few later than normal nights this last week as he has worked 7 days straight with very long hours.  One of those nights I had some very vivid memories from a few years ago.  Ugh. . .

August 1, 2011 was one of those late nights.  I woke up around 4 am and realized that Tom was still not home.  I knew he was going to be late that night, but 4 am is no longer late . . . it’s early.  I called and he didn’t answer his phone right away.  My mind started racing about what could be wrong.  He finally answered his phone and said, “I’ve been in a car accident.  I know I got off the freeway, but I’m not sure where I am.  I’m OK.  I’ll call you right back.”

Then his phone dies.

Seriously?  We all hate it when our phone dies, but this has to be one of the worst times for this to happen. (more…)