Today, I’d like to continue the discussion about having a career AND being married to a chef.
Last week, I shared my thoughts and experiences about this, but I totally left kids out of the equation, as I have never worked full time outside the home since we’ve had children. However, I know many of you work full time outside the home AND are married to chef AND have kids. So I decided to ask for some help on the topic. Today and next Monday, I’ve asked two of my fellow chef wives to share their thoughts and experiences about raising a family with a chef AND working full time.
Today, I’d like to introduce to you Nina Sargent. Her chef/husband Eric is a chef at Blue Moon Cafe in Waterville Valley, New Hampshire. They have 2 boys. Here is her story . . .
Since the very beginning I’ve been a working mom while my husband has been a server then chef. There were times when I supported the family because he was between jobs. We have two boys ages 8 and 5. Each job that my husband has held has brought with it different demands and requirements. Some jobs required him to work 16 hour shifts 6 days a week and I was essentially a single mom. Other jobs have him working dinner shifts, allowing him to be with us in the morning as we get ready. Being a working mom and married to a chef is not easy. Heck, being a working mom is not easy in and of itself. (more…)
Sometimes you just need to send your husband to the grocery store. Maybe it’s because your kids are sick and you can’t get out of the house. Maybe you forgot something for dinner and need him to pick it up on the way home. Whatever the case may be, sometimes it’s just necessary.
I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend about 15 years ago. She was telling me how hard it was when her husband ran to the grocery store because he couldn’t find things and usually ended up getting the wrong item(s).
I have be to honest. I couldn’t relate to her problem because I’m married to a chef. My husband lives and breathes food every minute of the day. If anything, he should be worried about me running to the store!
I recently came across this video on YouTube about this grocery store “problem”. While I can’t relate, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! (more…)
I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel my like chef/husband is a stranger because I haven’t see him much.
It’s not always easy to get a hold of him when he’s at work. So when he finally has a day off, I could talk his ear off (but I try not to)!
With the limited time we have together as a chef couple, what’s the best way to communicate both while at work and at home?
When I think about communication with my chef/husband, there are really a few ways I go about it. It’s very different trying to talk with him while he’s at work vs. when he’s at home.
Let’s start off with home. I don’t know about your chef, by my husband is pretty exhausted when he gets home at night and on his days off. I usually have a few things I’d like to talk to him about, and there’s usually time. It’s finding the best time that’s important. I have found it best to never, ever, ever, ever, ever talk to him about something important when he’s tired. It never goes well. If he’s too tired to think clearly, that’s not the time I want to be talking about money or problems with the kids. (It’s the same if I’m totally exhausted as well.) If a good time presents itself (kids are occupied, chef/husband is rested, etc.) then we talk about the important things. If not, there’s always plan B . . . (more…)
My chef/husband and I have had many conversations over the years about his salary. Usually the conversation starts because he’s been working so many hours and he’s on salary. (Sound familiar?)
He jokingly tells me how much he makes an hour, which comes out to be ridiculously low with the hours he works. He’s even said a few times that a server went home with more money than him after working 6 hours than he did after working 16 hours, running the entire restaurant and/or kitchen.
When he was a line cook, he occasionally got paid overtime. But as I have come to learn over the years, that overtime kills your labor budget and often the Sous Chef and Executive Chef work extra hours to pick up the slack to save their numbers (especially if those numbers are linked to a bonus.) (more…)
If you are married to or dating a chef, you know what I mean. It’s not that we don’t like the holidays, it’s just that we don’t see our chefs much or at all during the month of December. So once January 2nd comes around, we are pretty excited!! Things “should” slow down a bit in the restaurant, our chefs will be home trying to catch up on sleep and family time and we can all breathe a sigh of relief!
(Although January 2nd falling on a weekend might mess that up for us this year.)
Whatever the case, I’m ready for the new year.
Now looking ahead to Valentine’s Day . . . just kidding.
We survived the Christmas season as the family of a chef, although it was a very different month for us. Things have really changed in my chef/husband’s career and while the hours were still really long, he was off 3 weekends and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That has NEVER happened. The days he was working, his to do list was very long, but it actually didn’t have anything to do with the Christmas season. So it was a different season for us. Good, but different (and not what I had expected at all!!)
With that being said, I have absolutely no idea what the new year will bring. What I’ve come to know as the wife of chef is changing by the day. While I’m excited about these changes, there’s a small part of me that is anxious as well. I’m not a big fan of the “unknown,” but we’ll just take one day at a time and trust in God’s plan for our family. (more…)
