The Best Way to Communicate with a Chef

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I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel my like chef/husband is a stranger because I haven’t see him much.

It’s not always easy to get a hold of him when he’s at work.  So when he finally has a day off, I could talk his ear off (but I try not to)!

With the limited time we have together as a chef couple, what’s the best way to communicate both while at work and at home?

When I think about communication with my chef/husband, there are really a few ways I go about it.  It’s very different trying to talk with him while he’s at work vs. when he’s at home.

Let’s start off with home.  I don’t know about your chef, by my husband is pretty exhausted when he gets home at night and on his days off.  I usually have a few things I’d like to talk to him about, and there’s usually time.  It’s finding the best time that’s important.  I have found it best to never, ever, ever, ever, ever talk to him about something important when he’s tired.  It never goes well.  If he’s too tired to think clearly, that’s not the time I want to be talking about money or problems with the kids.  (It’s the same if I’m totally exhausted as well.)  If a good time presents itself (kids are occupied, chef/husband is rested, etc.) then we talk about the important things.  If not, there’s always plan B . . .

. . . talking on the phone during his commute into work.  His phone syncs with his car, the girls are at school and I’m in a quiet house.  I’m sure that sounds funny, but we’ve had some really great conversations during his long communte into work.

Now once he gets to work, it’s a totally different story.  I wish I could just pick up the phone and talk, but when you’re married to a chef, that never works.

So what’s the best way to communicate with a chef when they are at work (and not in the middle of the lunch of dinner rush)?

Text messaging.

I’m so glad it was invented!!

Even when I do call, hoping he’ll answer the phone, I usually get his voice mail.  (And he’s asked me to not leave a message, but to send a text as it’s faster to check.)

Over the years, I received some pretty funny texts from my chef while at work . . . new items he’s working on, whole animals he’s getting ready to butcher, pictures of injuries, etc.

Texting has really worked well for us . . . until the other day.

This screen shot of my phone says it all.

best way to communicate with a chef

My chef/husband was leading a webinar to chefs, managers and operations directors on his computer.   He had remembered to turn off all the notifications on his computer except Messenger.  So guess what appeared in the middle of the conference call for all 56 chefs, managers and operations directors?  My text!  Good thing it wasn’t too personal.  (And thank goodness my husband thought it was funny!)

The next day he reminded me of what time his next webinar was, although I’m sure he remembered to turn off Messenger that time.

Since that happened, I’ve been a bit nervous to send him a text.  I know he has a few more online meetings to do this week . . . haha!!

So how do you communicate with your chef?  Have you found texting is the best way as well?

From one chef’s wife to another,







  1. Holly Clark

    I think one of the only reasons we are STILL married is because of texting. Especially now that that we use emojis, everyone has there own symbol. (that means we do and the cats each have theirs hehe) It has become a game sending each other pictographs to try and figure out. Keeps us entertained on those long nights.

    • Jennifer

      Sounds like fun. 🙂 I’ll have to give that a try!

  2. Katrina

    I’ve been in a relationship with my chef boyfriend for nearly a year now, and what makes things a little bit more complicated is that we’re in a LDR, which on some days, really sucks haha (we live in 2 different countries, which aren’t that far apart from one another, but still far enough)! Having to cope with his long hours and minimal time spent together, even on the phone/video calls/etc, was really taking a huge toll on me mentally and emotionally…until I stumbled across your blog, and realized that I’m not alone feeling all these up and down emotions! I used to get really frustrated and angry at him because even during his days off, he did not seem eager to want to spend time with me on the phone (when those were his only free days in the week, but now I understand it was due to tiredness on his part and he needed his ‘me’ time), and we argued a lot…however recently I have slowly begun accepting that these are all part of his trade and profession as a chef…the more I get myself worked up over small things, it wouldn’t be beneficial to our relationship, and a LDR on top of that. This change of mindset and ‘acceptance’ of him has greatly improved our relationship for the better, but our communication could still use a little fixing. Reading your blog posts has really given me the motivation to keep things going, to stay positive and support my boyfriend in his profession which he loves! 🙂

    • Jennifer

      Oh Katrina, thank you for taking the time to comment. 🙂 Long distance relationships are so tough and through the schedule of a chef into the mix . . . ugh! I’m glad things are going a little better. Feel free to join our closed Facebook group if you want to chat more – 🙂

    • Nadia

      I have the same problem

  3. Adiya

    So glad I found your blog! We’re going on year 3 of marriage and so many things we need to figure out. Especially with a baby now and him being promoted to Executive Chef. So glad I’m not alone and knew I needed to find others to help us get through all this!


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