The Lonely Chef Wife

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My loneliness as a chef wife seems to come and go.

My chef/husband can work 80 hours one week and 80 hours the next, but one week I’m fine and the next I’m not.

Why is that?

Right now I’m sitting here in a quiet home with candles lit, looking at pictures from the day. (Ok, actually I’m typing this post right now.  But right before that, I was looking at pictures.)

It was a great day, full of projects and time with friends.  But through it all, and now in the peace and quiet, I think of my husband and miss him.  I wish my day had been full of time with him.  It’s been a long time since we’ve had an entire day together.

He’s been gone from the house for 13 hours and is still at work.

We spoke very briefly on the phone earlier.  I have no idea what his day was like and he has no idea what mine was like either . . . living separate lives and I want them to be together.  Now.

Why is it that some days, no matter how full I fill them, I’m just lonely and miss him? 

I love you babe!  Hurry home!

From one lonely chef wife to another,





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  1. P Kellogg

    I’m having one of those days. It’s beautiful here. No reason to be wimpy, just missing my husband. He is 10 days from an opening this round. Settled in new location, got the lay of the neighborhood, nice church , meeting people, good people. But this is the loneliness part . He has more to do then hours in the day. He is not sleeping and there is either a phone or laptop between us. Even the cat seems to feeling his absence, he walks the house meowing and looking for him. Frequently found sleeping on his dirty clothes. Our kids are grown no distraction there. My saving grace is once it’s open and he is in the grove I’ll get a job. Right now it is to hard to many ” Honey if your not busy, could you……. go, run, bring, pick up ….. you know I love you” events. I think a glass of wine might be in order.

    • Jennifer

      Restaurant openings are so hard! We relocated 6 years ago for one and it was tough with his long hours and not knowing many people. Hang in there!! I hope the next few weeks pass by fast for all of you!

  2. Laura

    Oh my gosh. It’s the worse. I love him…but then again I am sitting here googling ‘my husband is a chef and I’m so lonely’.

    • Jennifer

      I’ve googled similar things in the past too. 🙁 Glad you found me!

  3. Cynthia

    I am a 24 year old chef wife…. we just got married last year March 26th and well the first couple of months were great but then time kept moving on and I feel lonelier than ever…. I don’t want children because I don’t want to raise them ALL ON MY OWN… but I don’t want to be lonely… sometimes I think I just want a dog companion instead of a child but then I think about getting older and well having someone else other than my husband to watch over me would’ve amazing…. my husband just sent me the link about your letter to a chef wife and I enjoyed it but I had a gut feeling almost like he punched me and threw everything to my face…. I know you typed everything as sort of a “warning” “informational” article but I replied to him with an “I know all this and I’m dealing with this the best that I can…” I love you and I got married to you because I have and always will have your back but I just I get so tired of being lonely and feeling guilty for going out without him…

    • Jennifer

      I have felt that way many times over the years. It’s hard being without them so often. I told him once how bad I felt that I was always going out and doing fun things without him and he told me he was glad and that he didn’t want me to sit around the house moping about. It was a little easier after that conversation. 🙂


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