There’s really no easy way to tell you this. But after reading the title, it’s pretty obvious what this post is about.
I’m not the greatest at easing into things. I just kind of say them as it is. So here it goes.
I have been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer which has spread to my sternum. It’s been a long month full of tests, waiting, more tests and Dr. appointments. Because of this, I have dropped off the face of Social Media the past couple months. No newsletter, only a few new blog posts, no happy birthday posts on Facebook . . . I just didn’t feel like writing and my life just completely turned upside down.
My emotions have been all over the place as we found out news (and then went on vacation for two weeks which was AMAZING!!!! Hope to tell you about that one day soon!).
Everyone responds to news like this differently. I always knew I would get some sort of cancer, I just didn’t expect it this young. And honestly, I thought I would get a clear report like I did last year about my mammogram when I went in. That was not the case.
Of course I wonder why me? Why now? But honestly, those thoughts are few and far between. There’s more thoughts about being sick and what that will feel like and how my family will respond when I start to get sick. I believe that in every difficult situation God allows in our lives, there is always a reason. I may not always know the reason, but I trust that there is one.
As Tom and I walk this journey together, we both completely trust that God is in control. He has the power to heal me if He chooses. He might choose to do that and we will pray for that. But if He has a different plan, that is fine as well. Our prayer is that throughout this journey He will be honored and glorified in every situation.
I know that many of you have different beliefs in God than we do and so I might sound crazy or like I’m preaching at you. I don’t mean to sound that way if I do. But this is my life . . . the truth about what we are feeling and what is going on. While I will admit I am scared about the treatments to come and seeing my family and friends struggle with this diagnosis, I have no fear of death, whether it be from this cancer or something else entirely. You guys know you can always email me about anything, and now is no different. I am happy to “talk” with you anytime. 🙂
As I look back on the past month it is truly amazing to see God’s hand in each part of the situation.
First, I found out just after school started (and remember this is the first year all 3 of our girls are in school full time). I do not have to worry about getting a babysitter to go to the Dr. and do tests most of the time. Just a few months ago, that was not the case.
Second, with all the job changes and moving around in my husband’s job, God had the perfect one lined up for him for when I got sick. In his corporate position, not only are they very understanding, he will be able to work from home a lot of the time to take care of me. (Realistically, between us chef wives, that will probably mean working every day for shorter hours with one very long day in the office/restaurants.) If he was still an Executive Chef, I don’t know what we would do. This past month and a half, he has been setting up computer systems and an infrastructure to make that happen. (My husband is AMAZING!)
Third, his current position provides our entire family with good medical coverage.
The outpouring of love and concern from friends and family has been amazing. We have a long road ahead of us, but we are strong and will take one day at a time.
I will be having chemotheraphy for 4 months, then surgery and then radiation. With that treatment plan, I will probably not be around much online, but I will do what I can.
I do have 40 chef wife shirts sitting in my closet that I’d love to get up on the website. (WOOHOO!! They turned out great.) I’m hoping to do that this week, but we’ll see if I can pull that off with all the appointments and things going on. (If only one of you lived close enough to help me sell them!!! Still wish we all lived near each other to support each other!)
I have started a blog (big surprise, I know) as a way of keeping family and friends updated about what’s going on. You can find it over on LeavingCancerBehind.com. I’ll be updating it as much as I can as I go through treatment.
I guess that’s it for now. Hugs to you all. I know the holidays are fast approaching. Please keep supporting each other. We are all in this crazy chef life together!
From one chef’s wife to another,