Before I start getting phone calls and frantic e-mails from family and friends, let me just say that I am fine. No need to check on me. (Although I’m always happy to receive phone calls, emails, text messages and even a surprise vanilla latte, Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets in the mail or even a Vitamix from people, just to say they are thinking about me.) I’m fine. Really.
However, this question was word for word what came out of my chef/husband’s mouth one day a few years ago and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately as I’ve been struggling with a few things here at home. (more…)
My cousin was 5 years old when we got married 18 years ago. She was an adorable flower girl in our wedding. Most of our lives we have lived a few states away from each other, but when we moved up to the Seattle area, I got to know her a little bit better. She no longer lives nearby, but I think and pray for her often.
It’s usually on the days when I’m really lonely and struggling with the long hours of a chef that I think of her and pray for her. Her husband is not a chef (although he cooks very well), but is deployed in the Army. So while I sit at home, lonely and depressed about my husband who is working long hours an hour away from our house, I am reminded of her and many others, who have husbands on the other side of the world who will not be home for months. (more…)
Until I lost my mother to cancer 12 years ago, I never knew Mother’s Day was a hard day for anyone. For me, it was a fun day to celebrate my Mom and my Mother-In-Law. While my chef/husband was always working, (hello busiest day of the year – no Mom wants to cook) we just chose another day to celebrate and that was that.
I have no idea why it never occurred to me that this would be a very hard day for so many women. My Mom lost her mother to cancer when I was 9 months old and my Dad lost his mother when I was 7. I’m sure all those Mother’s Days after they died were hard. But either I was oblivious and didn’t notice, or they did a pretty good job of hiding it from me. (more…)
Today would have been my Mom’s 66th birthday. We lost her to cancer 12 years ago.
You would think after 12 birthdays, 12 of my parent’s wedding anniversaries, 12 Mother’s Days, etc., it would get a lot easier, but it really hasn’t.
There are so many things that come flooding into my mind on these types of days: memories of being told she had cancer, seeing her suffer, seeing the helplessness in my Dad’s eyes, pleading with God to heal her or take her home to be with Him so she would no longer be suffering, feeling so alone and sad while home alone at night after she died, etc.
There are of course happy memories as well: family vacations, playing the piano and singing together, doing puzzles, playing with play-dough in the kitchen while she cooked dinner, etc.
I started blogging back when scrapbooking became difficult because of small children. I wanted to have a way to remember things that were going on in our lives without having to worry about my 2 year old injuring herself with one of my many scrapbooking supplies. While our family blog has been an off and on ordeal, we all enjoy looking back at previous posts to see things we’ve done. Sometimes, I write posts to myself so I’ll look back and remember something. This is one of those posts.
This morning I decided to deactivate my personal Facebook account. This is not easy for me as I am a very social person and love to know what’s going on in people’s lives. However, everyone’s life looks perfect on Facebook. I know it’s not, but when I’m sitting at home browsing through my newsfeed, it’s hard not to think how amazing everyone else’s life is and I am jealous at times. My life is not horrible. It could just be that I’m depressed and it’s December (and I’m married to a chef, remember? We haven’t seen my husband in a while. The girls and I are out doing fun things, but miss him terribly!!) God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve, but I already struggle with contentment and Facebook makes it even harder. (more…)
