Until I lost my mother to cancer 12 years ago, I never knew Mother’s Day was a hard day for anyone.  For me, it was a fun day to celebrate my Mom and my Mother-In-Law.  While my chef/husband was always working, (hello busiest day of the year – no Mom wants to cook) we just chose another day to celebrate and that was that.

I have no idea why it never occurred to me that this would be a very hard day for so many women.  My Mom lost her mother to cancer when I was 9 months old and my Dad lost his mother when I was 7.  I’m sure all those Mother’s Days after they died were hard.  But either I was oblivious and didn’t notice, or they did a pretty good job of hiding it from me.

Even after my Mom died, it took me a few years to see others hurting on this day . . . not only those whose mothers have passed away, but those who never knew their mother, mothers who have lost a child, those who would give anything to conceive a child but for some reason are unable to, those who have had a miscarriage, those whose spouses work every year on Mother’s Day and are left alone with the kids while everyone else is out celebrating as a family, etc.

I wish it could be a happy day for everyone, but unfortunately it’s not.

On Mother’s Day I will probably cry a little because I miss my Mom.

I will probably tear up as I see my friends with their Mothers at church and wonder why God chose to take mine home when He did.

I will probably cry a little after I talk to my Dad on the phone.

I will probably be upset that we moved 19 hours away from my mother-in-law and that I can’t see her to give her a big hug today.

I will probably choose to stay off my personal Facebook page and newsfeed and skip all the pictures of friends celebrating with their families.  (I love you all, it just makes me a bit jealous on days like this.)

And I will probably spend a few minutes frustrated that my husband is crazy busy cooking amazing food for 1,300+ other people instead of for the 5 of us.

While in the past I have really had a hard time getting past the things I just listed, I have promised myself I will not have a pity party on Mother’s Day.  You know why?

That’s why.

Yes, my husband is going to be gone for at least 16 hours on Mother’s Day.

Yes I am going to miss my Mom.

But my 3 little girls look forward to this day all year and spend a lot of time planning how they are going to take care of me for the day.  (They are 9, 6 and 4.  Two years ago I came out to a “salon” set up in the living room by a 7, 4 and 2 year old.  Adorable!!)  I have no idea what their plan is for the day, but I’m sure it will be well thought out and they will be VERY excited.

So on Mother’s Day I am going to focus on what God has given me and be thankful.  No matter what the day brings, even if it means a 4 year old is painting my nails, and then a few minutes later is having a tantrum about something, I am going to focus on what I do have and not what I wish I had.  1 Thess. 5:18 – “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

For all of you married to a chef who is working ALL DAY LONG today, I know how you feel and I’m sorry that we are not able to celebrate as families.  It stinks!  But we have a choice.  We can choose to sit around and be bitter, or we can choose to embrace the day that God has given us and accept whatever circumstances we are in.

So this Mother’s Day, I plan on giving our girls as many hugs and kisses as possible in one day.

I plan to spend the afternoon celebrating with my Aunt and Uncle and enjoying a little break as they spoil our girls with tickles and hugs and kisses.

I plan to video chat with my mother-in-law as my kids go bonkers in front of the camera and try to show her every new thing in our home they can think of.  (It’s chaos, really!)

On Mother’s Day, I will enjoy being a Mom!

What are your plans?  I’d love to know in the comments.  Whatever they are, I pray it will be a great day for you and that you will join me in focusing on what God has given us, instead of what we wish we had.

Happy Mother’s Day from one chef’s wife to another!

 

 

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