While my chef/husband and I have struggled with miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, we have never dealt with infertility. Knowing how much I struggle with loneliness because of the hours my chef/husband works, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for many chefs and their wives. I often wonder if I’m hurting someone when I write posts about my children and the struggles of raising children with a chef. I know that my struggles could be someone else’s dream.
I could write a post on a subject I really know nothing about, or I could ask someone for help . . . someone who has lived it. I’ve asked my sweet cousin Leanne if she would let me ask her a few questions about her and her husband’s struggle with infertility. While her husband is not a chef, she knows me well enough and has been to enough family functions over the years that my husband has missed because of work, that she has a pretty good idea of what our lives are like as chef wives. I am so grateful for her willingness to share with us today!
Have you ever noticed that many people have gone through the same struggles as you have, but you never knew it until you started to talk about it? This happens to me all the time.
I had no idea how many women had miscarriages until I had one.
I know now that many women have miscarriages, but my Mom had 14. Yes you read that right. 14. I am an only child and she was on bed rest the majority of her pregnancy with me. I am like my Mom in many ways, but would this be one way I was like her as well? I of course had no way of knowing. So as we started to pray for our unborn child, we prayed that if it was God’s will, I would carry him/her full term.(more…)
I’m excited to start a new series here on Emulsified Family called A Chef, A Wife and a Child. During the series I’ll be sharing about our life with children, but have asked other chefs’ wives to share their stories as well.
We all have different stories and different experiences about having a child with a chef. If you have children, or are thinking about it in the future, I hope you will be able to relate to one or more of us as we share our lives with you. I’ll also be talking a bit about miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and infertility as so many of us struggle with those issues as well.
To those chef families who do not have children yet, having a child is often an overwhelming thought because of the long and crazy hours a chef works. And for those of us living it every day, there are ups and downs as we try and figure out how to combine restaurant and family life. Then there are those with grown children who have lived to tell about it. (Feel free to leave your advice in the comments!!)
So to start off the series, I thought we should start at the beginning. . . .
My cousin was 5 years old when we got married 18 years ago. She was an adorable flower girl in our wedding. Most of our lives we have lived a few states away from each other, but when we moved up to the Seattle area, I got to know her a little bit better. She no longer lives nearby, but I think and pray for her often.
It’s usually on the days when I’m really lonely and struggling with the long hours of a chef that I think of her and pray for her. Her husband is not a chef (although he cooks very well), but is deployed in the Army. So while I sit at home, lonely and depressed about my husband who is working long hours an hour away from our house, I am reminded of her and many others, who have husbands on the other side of the world who will not be home for months. (more…)
