I’m so excited to move on in this series and introduce you to other chef wives who are willing to share their stories with us about what it’s like having a child with a chef.
I’ve asked them all the same 5 questions and hope that you’ll be encouraged by what they share.
So tonight I want to introduce you to Alisa . . .
Tell me a little about yourself and your spouse. (Please include how long you have been married and what your job is (in addition to being a wife and mom.)
My name is Alisa and I am 44 years old. I am married to Chef Paul who is 46. We have been married for 22.5 years. I work full time at a Benefits office for a Union. I do general office work. When we were first married I worked full time as a preschool teacher and a director of a daycare. I have always worked full time since getting married.
How many children do you have?
We have a son who is 17.5 years and a daughter who is 11.
What has been the hardest part for you and your chef/husband with the addition of a little one to your family?
When we first had our son, it was hard dealing with the fact that I was a single parent most of the time. I was tired, hormonal, and doing it all on my own. Hard not to be resentful.
I do remember one conversation we had after I had gone back to work at the daycare after having our son. He was complaining about having to cook dinner or another meal on his day off or after work and I said to him, that I work with kids all day but I still take care of our son when we get home (son went to daycare with me every day). He never complained again. Well at least about that. LOL
What would you consider the pros and cons of working full time outside of the home?
Working outside the home has kept me sane, helped pay the bills and provided medical/dental/vision coverage for my family. Most restaurants don’t offer benefits and if they do they cost so much it’s hard to afford them. I am the type of person that likes to be around people, adult people, to talk to, work with, and discuss things. I would go crazy if I stayed home with the kids. Although there have been times I wished I could work less. As the kids have gotten older and wanted to do sports and such, telling them no because of both our work schedules has been hard. Luckily almost two years ago we moved close to a park with ball fields and my daughter got to start playing softball. Too bad dad has only gotten to see two games this season.
Any advice for young chef couples who are thinking about starting a family?
As a wife and mom, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Help from your chef number 1, but help from family and friends. My philosophy has always been the answer is always NO if you don’t ask the question. You will be amazed at how many yeses you will get just by asking the question.
Also, don’t move away from your family if at all possible. We made this mistake and I was miserable. It was before kids, so with kids it would have been worse. You need your base of family and friends around.
Oh and things get easier as the kids get older. My kids are at the age I can leave them home alone for an afternoon and go and spend some time with my friends. It’s important to take care of yourself as well as your family.
(This is Jennifer again . . .)
I’m so thankful to Alisa for sharing what she’s learned. They have been married longer than we have and have older kids, so I’m grateful to hear her advice and know that it’s possible! Thanks Alisa!
From one chef wife to another,
Also in the series A Chef, a Wife and a Child. . .
Coming Up in the Series . . .
More Interviews with Chef Wives/Moms