We’re moving up in the kitchen today to the position of Executive Chef. Today, Chef Wife Claudia Strange shares what it’s like to be married to an Executive Chef (and have 2 young children). I know many of you can relate!
Tell me a little about yourself and your chef (how you met, how long you’ve been together, do you have kids, etc.)
I met my Chef in 2007 (8 years). We had both been through divorce recently and were introduced by mutual friends. He had long hair, played the guitar and was a chef. I was hooked immediately. We dated on and off for a couple of years then got more serious after a while. We got married and had our son within two weeks of each other in 2011 and welcomed a daughter in 2013. I work full time as a communications professional in local government. My husband and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage in December (the 22nd to be exact ).
What position does your chef/cook have in the kitchen? Briefly describe the size and type of restaurant he is working at (fine dining/casual, size, privately owned or part of a restaurant group, etc.).
My husband is Executive Chef at his restaurant Strip in Atlantic Station, Atlanta, Georgia. It’s a steak/chop house, sushi and higher end bar. I guess it would be considered casual dining. The restaurant is fairly big, seats 750 plus a private dining room, second level dining overlooking the “station” and VIP rooftop bar. It’s owned by a restaurant group with various other concepts. There are 8 restaurants in the group right now.
Do you work outside the home and if so, what do you do and what are your hours like? If you stay home full-time, describe your responsibilities.
I work full time in local government doing communications and public relations. I work pretty standard hours, M-F, 8-5. But, I am on call in case of emergencies. They don’t happen often, but I do have them occasionally. Everyone in my office knows that I can not do evening work, if it can at all be helped.
From what your chef has told you or you have observed, what does he do in his current position and what is he responsible for?
Everything, of course. Menu development, ordering, staffing, schedule, budget, offsite events, and of course, cooking. I’m sure I’m simplifying this, but it seems like most things fit into those categories. He’s been with the company for 10 years, so he is often called on to help other stores from time to time and assist in business operations matters.
What does a typical week and day look like for your chef (hours, days off, etc.)?
My chef works 6 days a week, most weeks. He opens most days (usually so he can leave when it’s not too busy) and works the grueling 8 am – 1 a.m shift on Fridays and Saturdays. His restaurant is a hot spot for evenings out so the kitchen stays open pretty late on weekends. He tries to be off on Sundays but even that gets taken from us sometimes. He used to be off Sundays and Mondays but that slowly turned into sometimes on Sundays and only half days on Mondays. we try our best to just be available to spend time with him when he’s off and let him rest when he needs to rest. It’s a really hard balancing act, but we do the best we can to have family time.
How does your chef’s schedule fit with yours? What is easy/difficult about that?
Our schedules are pretty much the same, except his is longer. We try to split up whatever duties we can, but it almost always ends up being me who manages the home/family/kids by myself. I handle doctors apps, bills, gifts for parties, spending time with family, going to life events for friends, etc. I feel like I haven’t slept since we had kids.
Does your chef bring work home with him (phone calls, email, texts, menu planning, etc.)?
Yes, yes, yes! He is almost always on that dang phone texting or phoning someone about something to do with the restaurant. He has sous chefs so I don’t get why they have to call him for everything, but they do. It’s annoying, because even when he’s here, he’s not really all the way here.
What type of chef laundry do you have to deal with at this level?
Pretty much everything now. I used to avoid the chef coats, but even those come home for laundering now. So, the white undershirts, the black chef pants, the hideous socks and now the white coats. I throw out a lot of socks and t-shirts and pretty much have socks and t-shirts as a standing item on my Costco list.
What do you feel is the biggest change when your chef moved into this position, vs. his last position?
He’s been at least the lead sous chef since I’ve known him, so for me, not much has changed. He became an executive chef early in our dating time, so frankly, I’ve never known a different way of life with my chef. He is the only chef I ever dated, so I have no idea what other way there is to live.
What is the hardest part about this position in the kitchen for you as a chef wife or girlfriend?
It’s hard to always miss holidays, special occasions and life events because my chef is working. I have only been a mother for 4 years now, but I have only celebrated one mother’s day on the day. I believe this year will be the first time my chef isn’t working for father’s day, since he became a daddy. I’ve got a special day planned for him, but will worry until we arrive at the first activity that he is going to cancel. It’s the way life with a chef goes and I’ve gotten used to it, but it doesn’t make it easier. I miss his friendship, partnership and companionship all the time. When he is present, he’s so tired or distracted it’s hard to have quality time.
What (if any) are the perks of this kitchen position (for him or for your family)?
He can bring home amazing quality meats any day of the week. We can go to a nice dinner for free any time we want! Of course, with two small kids, that doesn’t happen often. Last time we were in to see Chef Daddy (as my kids call him) at the restaurant, my son decided he didn’t like the table and laid down on floor in the middle of the main dining room. We have not been back.
(This is Jennifer again . . . )
It’s so stressful taking young kids to Daddy’s restaurant isn’t it? Oh my!! I can relate to that Claudia.
If you are married to or dating an Executive Chef, can you relate? If you are curious about this position in the kitchen, feel free to ask your questions in the comments below!
View all posts in this series here!
From one chef’s wife to another,
Thank you so much for including me in this series. it was fun to sit down and really think about life with my chef. it’s always moving along so quickly, that we rarely sit down and think about how this works, how i feel and how different it is from the lives of “traditional” working couples with kids. the other day, my son looked at me and said “i miss my daddy” … it broke my heart, it will probably break his when/if i decide to tell him.