Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be married to a Sous Chef? Maybe your chef is in culinary school or working on the line. It’s always fun to get a glimpse of what’s to come in future positions.
Today, I’d like to introduce you to Sarah Bennett. Her husband is a Sous Chef and she’s telling her story today. 🙂
Tell me a little about yourself and your chef (how you met, how long you’ve been together, do you have kids, etc.)
I’m a 29 year old nanny. Chef and I met through my roommate at a bar in Downtown Orlando. We’ve been together 3 years and married 2. Within a week I hurt every time he said he might move to a different city but I didn’t want to seem like one of those crazy clingy girlfriends but come to find out he was feeling the same way. In our three years together we’ve maybe spent five nights apart. No kids for me except Chef’s 12 year old daughter. We want kids but need to be more financially stable. We do have 5 fur babies. 🙂
What position does your chef/cook have in the kitchen? Briefly describe the size and type of restaurant he is working at (fine dining/casual, size, privately owned or part of a restaurant group, etc.).
My Chef is the Sous Chef at a new casual eatery near downtown Orlando in an area called College Park. It’s a privately owned “old southern Florida” type menu. It’s a small restaurant, I think capacity is around 100 guests. They have less than 50 employees between foh and boh.
Do you work outside the home and if so, what do you do and what are your hours like? If you stay home full-time, describe your responsibilities.
I’m a full time nanny for a family with one child. I cook, clean, do laundry for the family, and teach/help raise the child. My hours are mainly 8-5 Monday to Friday with Tuesday being a half day of 8-12 but it changes with me coming in early or staying late depending on what work meetings the parents have.
From what your chef has told you or you have observed, what does he do in his current position and what is he responsible for?
He mainly takes care of the major prep and line cooking when needed and the head chef does all the inventory and paperwork. Unless the head chef isn’t there, then he also meets with vendors and does the paperwork. He also cashes out servers and is part of the boh hiring/firing team with the head chef.
What does a typical week and day look like for your chef (hours, days off, etc.)?
The restaurant is closed on Mondays so Tuesday through Saturday and sometimes Sunday he works 7:30/8am to 8:30pm-1:30am. Minimum of 13 hours 5 days a week (that’s a minimum of 65 hours). He works 6 days most weeks and is there until cleanup is done most nights which is usually between 11pm and 1am. The 1am days are 18 hour days and he has at least one of those a week. Plus there’s a back of house meeting and deep kitchen detail once a month for 5 or so hours on a Monday and if there’s a private event they try and book them on Mondays so those weeks he’s there all 7 days.
How does your chef’s schedule fit with yours? What is easy/difficult about that?
We are a one car family which is a blessing and a curse. He works doubles 4 to 6 days a week so I take him in before heading to work (i.e. he’s at work between 6:30-7:30am) and then depending on when we both get out I either head home or head to the restaurant to pick him up (anytime between 8:30pm-1:30am) Mornings are horrible (talk about a grumpy Chef!) but we have a good 30 minutes on the drive home in the evenings/nights to talk about our days and discuss any minor household topic.
Does your chef bring work home with him (phone calls, email, texts, menu planning, etc.)?
Yes, there are calls and texts plus going in on the one day everyone should have off.
What type of chef laundry do you have to deal with at this level?
I do his chef coats, pants, undershirt, and socks. Thankfully most are black besides his pants. They go in their own load.
What do you feel is the biggest change when your chef moved into this position, vs. his last position?
He’s happy again. He’s more tired but even with more responsibility he’s not depressed in the evenings or worried about his job constantly. The distance is hard and makes for long hours.
What is the hardest part about this position in the kitchen for you as a chef wife or girlfriend?
The hours for sure. His last Sous position he was maybe pulling 55-65 hours a week and now he’s pulling 80-90 hours. When he’s home he’s short with me and the animals who are just like little kids and don’t understand to give him space. I love sleep and don’t get enough now because I have to wake up earlier to take him in or stay up late to pick him up.
What (if any) are the perks of this kitchen position (for him or for your family)?
He’s happy, he has more creative freedom, and his opinion is heard. Plus the pay is higher, not great but more than he made before. They also give me the employee discount if I order food which is nice!
Are you married to a Sous Chef? If so, can you relate? I’d love to know in the comments below!
View all posts in this series here!
From one chef’s wife to another,
Married to a Sous Chef can be a daunting experience for the wife and family. I am married to one, as well… Let’s just say I’m a glutton for punishment, I guess. Hours are insane and pay is meh…compared to hours worked. I have great empathy for all chef wives.
Spouses/significant others of chef/sous/kitchen manager are unsung heroes of the culinary field. I’m a mom/wife/kitchen manager. My priorities are in constant rotation. Housework is struggle to say the least. This career would not be possible without my husbands understanding and patience. My executive chef is working on expanding the business and the creative aspect of the job. All else falls on me. Paperwork, prep, the line, food cost, ordering, training, hiring and firing falls to the kitchen management team. It’s so life consuming. And it certainly has bled into my marriage. So hats off to those of you standing by us and supporting us!
Thanks Amanda! Good luck on the business expansion!