I wrote the post below back in July, but never published it. Tonight I’m sitting on the bed, wishing my husband was home with us. It’s Cinco de Mayo – the busiest night of the year for his restaurants. We haven’t seen him all week and we miss him. I’m tired. The kids have been arguing while making Mother’s Day cards. (Really?????? I don’t want have to discipline for that!! Ugh!! I really wish he were here to deal with the Mother’s Day card arguing…)
Have you ever referred to yourself as a single parent because of your husband’s career as a chef?
They work a ton of hours. They are gone the majority if not all of the hours the kids are awake. Because of this, the parenting on the days they work (and sometimes even on their days off) falls on us.
I get it.
I’m living it.
There are many days our girls do not see my husband because he leaves before or just as they are getting up and gets home just after they are in bed. Having a 1 hour + commute on top of the long hours of a chef is tough. My husband would have to leave work at 5 pm (and then sit in the car for 2 hours because of traffic) to be home to see them for an hour before they go to bed (which is not their best time of day). The mornings, it’s the same. If he doesn’t leave before 6 am, the commute can be almost 2 hours long. There’s really no option for a change of hours, so we find way to work with the schedule the best we can.
In case you haven’t noticed, the traditional school schedule TOTALLY CLASHES with the schedule of a chef. Many chefs have only week days off, leaving no day open for family time, since the kids are in school.
The transition from having preschoolers at home to having elementary aged kids who go to school from 9-3 every day was a tough one for our family (as I’m sure it has been for many of your families as well).
I always knew the day would come when I would write about this (or make a video about it).
This is by far the hardest post and most personal topic I’ve ever blogged about.
You see, our home was a pretty miserable place to be for a few years. My chef/husband and I had many conversations about it, but never really knew the exact problem and because of that, didn’t know how to fix it.
Then one day I figured it out. It was of course during one of the hardest weeks I’ve ever had as a parent. But sometimes it takes a really difficult situation to get me to wake up and figure things out.
I wish there was a way to go back in time and tell my younger self what I learned. I would have been a different parent early on.
You made it through pregnancy and having an infant. You were so excited for the baby’s first steps, and then realized how much your life changed because of those steps!
Have you ever wished you had the energy of Toddler? They seem to NEVER sit still. This phase of life was a big change for us from the infant stage, especially for my chef/husband. (more…)
So you made it through pregnancy. All your fears of your chef/husband not being able to make it to the hospital for the baby’s delivery were unnecessary as he was there in plenty of time. 🙂
But now you have this sweet little baby and your chef/husband is back to work, working a billion hours a week (OK, not that many, but it sure seems like it). You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, lonely and some days really, really, really, wish you had another adult to talk to. Raising a family with a chef isn’t easy.