Do you Ever Feel Like You Are Living Separate Lives?

Why yes I do.  Thanks for asking.

Sometimes I feel like I have my life here at home with the girls and my husband has his life at work and then here at home.  The things we each do in a day are so different from each other.  Our two lives come together for a few minutes a day and then we go our separate ways.

The majority of the year he does get 2 days off a week.  During those weeks, he doesn’t seem like a stranger.  There is time to talk (even if it’s chaotic with kids running around), meals together as a family, etc.  However, there are times, like day 11 of a 14 day stretch with no days off.  This doesn’t happen often, but occasionally it does.  I really miss him during those times.

11 long days of work in a row.  Has anyone seen my husband?  (Just kidding.)  Oh look, the restaurant just posted a picture of him on Twitter.  (Seriously, this has happened before and I laughed and said to myself, “Oh look, that’s what my husband is up to right now.” (more…)

Day 10 – For the Chef’s Kids (12 Days of Encouragement for the Chef’s Family)

Dear Girls,

12 days of encouragement for the chefs familyI know Christmas time is your favorite time of year.  I love to see your excitement as we drive down the street and see Christmas lights.  I love how you take the time to write a list of things you’d like to get your sisters and friends for Christmas.  I love talking with you each morning at the breakfast table during our morning devotions as we talk about the birth of Jesus. You are all growing up so fast and Daddy and I are so proud of you.

In the midst of all the excitement, I know there are also times of sadness.  You see me tear up when something reminds me of my Mom and rush to give me hugs.  We also miss Daddy a lot this time of year as work is so busy.  (Don’t forget he misses us too.)  I know we talk about it a lot, but I don’t want you to ever forget that he is working hard to provide for us.  (more…)

Day 3 – Don’t Sit at Home (12 Days of Encouragement for the Chef’s Family)

Today I’d like to encourage you to not sit at home, wishing the Christmas season was just over so you could see your chef/husband or chef/boyfriend again. Last year, half way through the month, my chef/husband and I actually had a conversation about that.  We just wanted December to be over.  🙁

I don’t know about where you live, but here in Seattle, there are so many fun things to do at Christmas time.

I used to try and save all those things for when my chef/husband was off.  But when I did that, we ended up missing out on a lot of things. (more…)

Day 1: Twelve Days of Encouragement for the Chef’s Family

New to my site? Start here.
The holidays are a tough time for our Emulsified Family.

12 days of encouragement for the chefs familyBy the end of December, my chef/husband and I are usually just ready for Christmas and New Year’s Eve to be over.  I know that sounds horrible but December is a really hard month when you are married to a chef.

It’s 4-5 INSANE weeks of working way too many hours for my chef/husband.  We really don’t see him much at all during this time.  Because of this I struggle with loneliness, even with 3 kids.  I also feel bad that we are out doing fun Christmas things and my husband is slaving away at work to provide for us.  I could say more, but it would really just sound like complaining, so I’ll stop.

I thought maybe this year would be different, with him being the COO of a restaurant group and out of the kitchen, but the hours have still been crazy…including a restaurant opening.  I am thankful for his days off this month and don’t want to take them for granted, as I remember many years, he rarely had a day off in the month of December.

Since so many of you can relate to our family, I would guess that we are not alone in feeling this way each holiday season.

While in the past, I’ve dreaded the month of December as a chef’s wife, I’ve decided this Christmas season is going to be different.  No more moping around and wishing it was over for this chef’s wife and kids. (more…)

Chef Wives, You Are Not a Single Parent

I wrote the post below back in July, but never published it. Tonight I’m sitting on the bed, wishing my husband was home with us. It’s Cinco de Mayo – the busiest night of the year for his restaurants. We haven’t seen him all week and we miss him. I’m tired. The kids have been arguing while making Mother’s Day cards. (Really?????? I don’t want have to discipline for that!! Ugh!! I really wish he were here to deal with the Mother’s Day card arguing…)

Have you ever referred to yourself as a single parent because of your husband’s career as a chef?

They work a ton of hours.  They are gone the majority if not all of the hours the kids are awake. Because of this, the parenting on the days they work (and sometimes even on their days off) falls on us.

It’s hard.

I get it.

I’m living it.

There are many days our girls do not see my husband because he leaves before or just as they are getting up and gets home just after they are in bed. Having a 1 hour + commute on top of the long hours of a chef is tough. My husband would have to leave work at 5 pm (and then sit in the car for 2 hours because of traffic) to be home to see them for an hour before they go to bed (which is not their best time of day). The mornings, it’s the same. If he doesn’t leave before 6 am, the commute can be almost 2 hours long. There’s really no option for a change of hours, so we find way to work with the schedule the best we can.

(more…)