My name is Jennifer and I have been married to a chef for 25 years.

I blog about my life as a chef wife and how we combine restaurant and family life each day.

If you are new to my site, start here.

Recent Posts:

It’s OK to Ask for Help

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I’ve been married to my chef/husband for 18 1/2 years and there are numerous things I know now that I wish I knew in the beginning. One of them is that it’s OK to ask others for help. With Tom working so many hours to provide for us, there have been many times I have needed help, but too afraid to ask. I wish I could tell you I learned this early on, but it was not until recently that I really came to accept this as a fact. If I truly need help, it’s OK to ask.

When I say afraid to ask, I was not worried that my family or friends were going to yell ant me and say no. Asking for help would mean I would have to admit to others and myself that I wasn’t Super Mom, Super Wife or Super Friend. I couldn’t do everything for myself and I wasn’t willing to accept that.

I wrote the other day about how hard it was when my husband broke his back. It’s one thing to ask for help and support when you are going through a difficult time, but for the first time recently, I had to ask for help with a basic task, which not only was hard to admit I couldn’t do this, but it made me feel old. (I’m 39.) If I did not ask for help, it was either not going to get done at all, or I was going to be crying by the end of it from pain. read more…

Seeing your Chef/Husband in Pain

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We all know chefs work long hours and come home exhausted. There have been many nights when I’ve been woken up by something and been surprised that Tom was not home yet. I usually call him to make sure he’s OK and then go back to sleep. There have been a few later than normal nights this last week as he has worked 7 days straight with very long hours. One of those nights I had some very vivid memories from a few years ago. Ugh. . .

August 1, 2011 was one of those late nights. I woke up around 4 am and realized that Tom was still not home. I knew he was going to be late that night, but 4 am is no longer late . . . it’s early. I called and he didn’t answer his phone right away. My mind started racing about what could be wrong. He finally answered his phone and said, “I’ve been in a car accident. I know I got off the freeway, but I’m not sure where I am. I’m OK. I’ll call you right back.”

Then his phone dies.

Seriously? We all hate it when our phone dies, but this has to be one of the worst times for this to happen. read more…

You Know Your Dad’s a Chef When . . . part 1

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I’ve been spending time sharing about what it’s like to be married to a chef. But what is it like to be the daughter of a chef? I personally don’t know, but I am very close to 3 little ones who do!

In order to really give you a picture of how we emulsify or combine restaurant and family life, we have to include the kids. I’ve decided to start a series called, “You Know Your Dad’s a Chef When . . .”

So today is part 1 of many posts to come.

You know your Dad’s a chef when . . .

your science fair project looks like this.

Does food presentation affect how someone thinks food will taste?

Or this.

Which frosting tastes better? Homemade or store bought?

Going to Church Alone

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OK, I admit, I didn’t really go to church alone this morning. As I’ve said before, I’m rarely alone because we have 3 children. What I mean is we went to church without my husband.

While there are many things the girls and I do without my husband (since he works many of the hours others are off), church is the hardest place to go without him. It seems to go in phases. He’ll be able to attend for many weeks/months in a row and then miss a few weeks/months in a row because of work. Right now it seems to be more miss than hit.

I know chefs are not the only people who have to work on Sunday mornings. I have friends who are married to police officers, fire fighters, doctors, nurses, or any profession that requires traveling, all of whom have probably felt the same way as I do at some point or another.

I was at first reluctant to write this post as I don’t want people to judge my husband, or draw any sort of conclusions about him. However, if you met him and watched him as he interacted with our family, it wouldn’t take very long for you to see his love and dedication to both the Lord and to us.

So with that being said, here’s a glimpse into my evening last night and this morning. This post is about me, not him. It’s about my feelings and what I struggle with. Please don’t judge. 🙂

Do Chef’s Get Vacation Time?

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Last week was mid-winter break for our kids AND my chef/husband took the week off! I can’t even remember the last time that happened. No email (OK tons of email, but email notifications turned off), only a few texts, 1 voice mail. . . I probably should go into the restaurant and corporate office and personally thank his staff for this. 🙂

So I guess the answer to the question “Do chef’s get vacation time?” is yes.

It’s not always easy to find a good time to take it. For his restaurant, right between Valentine’s Day and the start of Dine Around Seattle was perfect. It also happened to line up with mid-winter break for the girls! Yeah!

So after reflecting on an amazing week as a family, here are 10 things that happened:

1. We had so much fun together as a family!

I was a little nervous about what it would be like to have him home for a week, as there have been many times when things have been awkward, the kids have been strange toward him because they haven’t seen him much, etc. (More on this another time.) But our week was AMAZING!!