It’s OK to Ask for Help

by | Being Married to a Chef, Blog, Friends and Family | 0 comments

I’ve been married to my chef/husband for 18 1/2 years and there are numerous things I know now that I wish I knew in the beginning.  One of them is that it’s OK to ask others for help.  With Tom working so many hours to provide for us, there have been many times I have needed help, but too afraid to ask.  I wish I could tell you I learned this early on, but it was not until recently that I really came to accept this as a fact.  If I truly need help, it’s OK to ask.

When I say afraid to ask, I was not worried that my family or friends were going to yell ant me and say no.  Asking for help would mean I would have to admit to others and myself that I wasn’t Super Mom, Super Wife or Super Friend.  I couldn’t do everything for myself and I wasn’t willing to accept that.

I wrote the other day about how hard it was when my husband broke his back.  It’s one thing to ask for help and support when you are going through a difficult time, but for the first time recently, I had to ask for help with a basic task, which not only was hard to admit I couldn’t do this, but it made me feel old.  (I’m 39.)  If I did not ask for help, it was either not going to get done at all, or I was going to be crying by the end of it from pain. (more…)

Seeing your Chef/Husband in Pain

by | Being Married to a Chef, Blog, Chef Life | 4 comments

We all know chefs work long hours and come home exhausted.  There have been many nights when I’ve been woken up by something and been surprised that Tom was not home yet.  I usually call him to make sure he’s OK and then go back to sleep.  There have been a few later than normal nights this last week as he has worked 7 days straight with very long hours.  One of those nights I had some very vivid memories from a few years ago.  Ugh. . .

August 1, 2011 was one of those late nights.  I woke up around 4 am and realized that Tom was still not home.  I knew he was going to be late that night, but 4 am is no longer late . . . it’s early.  I called and he didn’t answer his phone right away.  My mind started racing about what could be wrong.  He finally answered his phone and said, “I’ve been in a car accident.  I know I got off the freeway, but I’m not sure where I am.  I’m OK.  I’ll call you right back.”

Then his phone dies.

Seriously?  We all hate it when our phone dies, but this has to be one of the worst times for this to happen. (more…)